I thought I was, but I don't feel like I'm enduring as Christ-like as I'd hoped I would. Things get pretty messy when you've already written your life script! When you've planned out enough of your life for roadblocks and sharp curves to seriously dampen your mood and contentment. And by "roadblocks" and "sharp curves" I suppose I mean God opening and closing doors, and perhaps sometimes just the consequences of a fallen world or decisions we make.
Although I completely and prayerfully made the decision to move to the UK, I guess I had anticipated a completely new, British-compatible ME to be born. Yet I still feel like I've been picked up and put down in a completely new life, but with the SAME me who desires and hopes for the same things as before, but now with a considerable lack of realizing those desires and fulfilling that hope. I'm wondering how much of this is only natural with a giant move like this, and how much is self-inflicted? I mean, I did move away not only from my home-town, but out of state, country and into city life! Plus a previous year of busyness beyond all reason (and humility...) must have contributed to my current health roller-coaster. All in all, I pray for rest in God's grace and the freedom it brings to KNOW him as one of his beloved children when I deserve no such thing!
The coolest part is how my husband feels like home to me. He smells like home, welcomes like home, and protects like home. Yet, he of course cannot truly fulfill me in the way that ONLY Jesus can! But there lies the great battle. In whom or what am I seeking fulfillment? Where am I looking for hope? Because if it's anything on this earth, it will cave under my demands and will never truly deliver, only disappoint. Why don't I believe this every day? I am reminded of how much time I've missed being in the Word and soaking up truth. I'm a big believer that THAT is how you remember each day! Praying by the power of the Holy Spirit is another gift I've been neglecting due to sheer distraction (sometimes the WORST culprit!) Pray for me please that I will be a good steward of the time and choices God has given to me! And for patience, trust, hope, and boldness in the things to come. I'm about to embark on a "Devotional" entitled: "Learning to Soar" by Avery Willis. I'm super excited for the focus and challenge I hope it will bring my way!
Although I completely and prayerfully made the decision to move to the UK, I guess I had anticipated a completely new, British-compatible ME to be born. Yet I still feel like I've been picked up and put down in a completely new life, but with the SAME me who desires and hopes for the same things as before, but now with a considerable lack of realizing those desires and fulfilling that hope. I'm wondering how much of this is only natural with a giant move like this, and how much is self-inflicted? I mean, I did move away not only from my home-town, but out of state, country and into city life! Plus a previous year of busyness beyond all reason (and humility...) must have contributed to my current health roller-coaster. All in all, I pray for rest in God's grace and the freedom it brings to KNOW him as one of his beloved children when I deserve no such thing!
The coolest part is how my husband feels like home to me. He smells like home, welcomes like home, and protects like home. Yet, he of course cannot truly fulfill me in the way that ONLY Jesus can! But there lies the great battle. In whom or what am I seeking fulfillment? Where am I looking for hope? Because if it's anything on this earth, it will cave under my demands and will never truly deliver, only disappoint. Why don't I believe this every day? I am reminded of how much time I've missed being in the Word and soaking up truth. I'm a big believer that THAT is how you remember each day! Praying by the power of the Holy Spirit is another gift I've been neglecting due to sheer distraction (sometimes the WORST culprit!) Pray for me please that I will be a good steward of the time and choices God has given to me! And for patience, trust, hope, and boldness in the things to come. I'm about to embark on a "Devotional" entitled: "Learning to Soar" by Avery Willis. I'm super excited for the focus and challenge I hope it will bring my way!
***Lastly, just wanted to share what I've studied yesterday and today. I've written quite a few comments next to various lines from this passage in Colossians, but not in order to add to it, merely to express what joy and truth it brings to me in this season!
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. (What am I seeking? If I'm honest, it's worldly greatness, which completely contradicts godly greatness! What am I thinking about? Whose voice am I listening to? What is poisoning my mind? Is anything nurturing it?)
For if you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
(God actually lets us share in his glory and experience his power! I'm speechless at this concept.)
"Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and COVETOUSNESS, WHICH IS IDOLATRY (I struggle with this! I see others being blessed or hear about some crazy cool work God is doing somewhere else and I want that for me and despise where I'm at! Jesus, help to destroy this in me!)
(God actually lets us share in his glory and experience his power! I'm speechless at this concept.)
"Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and COVETOUSNESS, WHICH IS IDOLATRY (I struggle with this! I see others being blessed or hear about some crazy cool work God is doing somewhere else and I want that for me and despise where I'm at! Jesus, help to destroy this in me!)
DO NOT LIE TO EACH OTHER, (Be real. Be honest. Be convicting. Be encouraging. Don't fake it or carry on lying as the world does to us every day.)
seeing that you have put off the old self its practices and have put on the NEW SELF, which is being RENEWED IN KNOWLEDGE AFTER THE IMAGE OF ITS CREATOR. (the old has GONE the new has COME and we get to learn how to be faithful disciples directly from our Father; the God of the universe! How cool is that!?)
"Put on then, as GOD'S CHOSEN ONES, HOLY AND BELOVED (remember your identity in Jesus Christ! We are not worthless because we have not only been made clean, holy, and perfect in his sight, but we are so loved by our God! He shows us this by paying for our filth, dirtiness, and sinful hearts and giving us his pure and lovely righteousness!),
COMPASSIONATE HEARTS ("splagchnizomai" is the Greek word used to describe Jesus' compassion. It literally means "to be moved in the bowels," hence to be moved with compassion--the bowels were thought to be the seat of love and pity--Do we feel this for others?),
KINDNESS, (Kindness often gets overlooked and skipped quite easily in the importance department. Why? This is huge! This is what everyone is seeking in this world, whether they understand it or not. Let's try to redeem kindness from its labels such as "girly" "boring" "only for pansies or sissies" and "WEAK." God showed us indescribable kindess when we were horribly unkind to him!)
HUMILITY (this is NOT all about what I want or even "need" what about what I've been given? Do I remember where I was when God saved me?),
MEEKNESS (I do not always have to be heard, understood, or justified! I need to trust God and submit to him as the ultimate judge who will get his justice in the end.),
and PATIENCE, (God is outside of time being eternal, but his perfect timing should encourage patience in us)
BEARING WITH ONE ANOTHER (some people are just difficult! But this is how God shapes our hearts to look more like his as we bear with these people...maybe I'm that person to someone else!)
and, if one has a complaint against another, FORGIVING EACH OTHER; as THE LORD HAS FORGIVEN YOU, SO YOU MUST ALSO FORGIVE. (we must share with each other the grace that God has shared with us! How can we hoard it?)
And ABOVE ALL these PUT ON LOVE, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body (We were called to be ruled by the peace of Christ, but TOGETHER, not on our own! As ONE body. Community how I need thee!).
And BE THANKFUL. Let the WORD OF CHRIST DWELL IN YOU richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, WITH THANKFULNESS IN YOUR HEARTS to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, DO EVERYTHING IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS, (by HIS power, not mine. On HIS strength, not on mine! I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! Apart from him, I can do nothing! Phil. 4:13 & John 15:5)
GIVING THANKS TO GOD THE FATHER through him." (Thankful hearts, giving thanks, be thankful...this is what cheers up a sorrowful heart; gratefulness. I remember being annoyed in Sunday School when my teacher made me count five things on my fingers that I was thankful for. All I could think about was how hungry I was! But I get it now. And I don't even have to use my fingers!)
~Colossians 3:1-17
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